Παρασκευή, 23 Αυγούστου 2013

"How do you feel, Captain...?"

It is one of those quiet moments in science fiction I like the best. Captain Kirk of the Enterprise is grim and he is asked how he feels. "Old. I feel old" replies the captain with a typical (and, yes, beloved) William Shatner deliverance. You see, the actors of the series were all in their fourties or more by the beginning of the 80's and that had to be reflected in the movies. But it was an honest moment nonetheless. One the youthful Captain Kirk of the '60s would never have experienced.
               

 I, too, used to feel like the young captain. Till a few years ago the concept of time was very abstract. I knew it existed and I lived within it but I never felt it. Then of course it all changed in a flash (a -ah, King of the impossible...er, sorry). I hate it when I repeat patterns but sure enough there it was. I hit 30 and suddenly everything changed. I became a walking cliche. All the usual "who am I?", "what am I gonna do with my life?", "why is Lady Gaga having a career?" questions knocked on my door and the fool I, open the door wide open. It was like having a period...
 Then you notice it. The first glimpses of change in your body. My metabolism changed, I took on weight, my skin changed - on the bright side though I didn't get an actual period. But I was starting to sound like Ted from "How I met Your Mother" which is the next worst thing. So, I took my chances more or less. I tried to bring on change but I only ended up with the illusion of change (much like Ted's life for the first 8 seasons...ugh, ugly!). Still, what actualy changes after 30 is that you essentialy start to see an end to the erstwhile infinite horizon. The end of the "5-year journey of the Starship Enterprise". And it's scary...
  The pressure is on. You feel the urge to cram in as much as possible before you finaly kick the bucket. But is it a real sensation or another social convention? Α bit of both actually. Everything has its time and place and many things in life can pass you by or vice versa. "There's a time to live and a time to die". But on the other hand society puts on pressure that otherwise shouldn't be there in the first place. We all have our own wants and needs, our own happy triggers, even our own fears and trepidations. We live life like Frankie - our way.
  On the other side I never subscribed to the idea that life is a journey and not a destination. What moron likes to waste about in the open sea? You have to get to the port sometime. There is a meaning and although we may find it way before the end it is only there that it is validated. Did I live a good life? Ask me after I'm gone. Much like Solon, the wise man, do not call a man fortunate before his end. It is not uncommon in the course of this journey to feel lost, no port in sight. In that case, just take a look back and enjoy the blue of the sea. And if a storm is raging round you, stay right were you are. Don't try so hard, darling.
  So, I'm still kinda lost but I enjoy the view. I'm just happy to be onboard. Though instead of a ship I prefer a spaceship. At the end of the movie, even after Kirk has lost his best friend and is at a loss himself, he is asked the same question. ''How do you feel, captain?"...."Young", replies Kirk "I feel young". And rightly so. The Enterprise had a lot more journeys ahead after all. Engage....



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